


they do the mash

by lunarins



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Halloween crack, Post-Time Skip, no plot just stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarins/pseuds/lunarins
Summary: When Kiyoomi first signed with MSBY, he knew there would be more to being a pro league player than just playing the game.But fan service in the MSBY Black Jackals community was on a whole different level.(aka msby 4 just being ridiculous for a halloween press video)
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Hinata Shouyou & Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi, MSBY 4
Comments: 12
Kudos: 70





	they do the mash

**Author's Note:**

> don't ask me what i was thinking while writing this because i wasn't.
> 
> title taken from the song monster mash because i cannot title things.

“No,” Kiyoomi says as he shuts his locker with a clang, swinging his bag over his shoulders as he walks towards the change room exit.

Atsumu pouts, trailing after his teammate like a puppy. “I didn’t even say anything yet.” He does a little hop, falling into step with the wing spiker. “It’ll be fun! Bokkun and Shouyou already said they’ll do it-”

“No,” Kiyoomi repeats. It was late and the rest of the team had already left for the day, probably all headed back to the dorms to rest before their game tomorrow. They’re almost at the doors now and he is seconds away from shaking Atsumu off his tail and slipping away from the blonde haired fiend when Bokuto suddenly appears in front of him, flanked by an eager looking Hinata.

“Did he say yes?” Bokuto beams at Kiyoomi, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet.

Atsumu scowls. “Almost.”

“I’m not gonna say yes,” Kiyoomi says primly, trying to sidestep past his teammates, but Hinata has planted himself in front of the double doors defensively like he’s a middle blocker who was going to stuff his spike. He has grown since Kiyoomi has last seen him in his first year at Nationals, which is rather unfortunate, because he would like nothing more than to pick him up by the collar and move him aside. Kiyoomi growls frustratedly. He just wants to go home and take a proper shower. “Move.”

“Sakusa-san,” Hinata smiles, “Meian-san has already said that we’re the ones doing the Halloween press video.”

The other two nod vigorously. “You don’t even need to wear a costume if you don’t want to!” Atsumu adds.

Kiyoomi can only sigh. When he had first signed with the MSBY Black Jackals fresh out of college, he knew there would be more responsibilities as a pro league volleyball player than just playing the game. He had attended a handful of fanmeets and V. League games with Komori back when they were children to know that taking pictures with fans and signing autographs were things pro players do.

But fan service in the MSBY Black Jackals community was on a whole different level.

Kiyoomi is neutral on the whole signing autographs thing, sometimes he even enjoys it. He didn’t think that press obligations and fan service would ever go further beyond posing with his cardboard cutout and scrawling his name carefully onto posters, until a couple months ago, during a lucky (read: cursed) fan event, he had found himself signing posters while dressed in a very tight, very _short_ , bodycon dress.

Kiyoomi prides himself as a careful man, and he was sure (sure!) that this was definitely not in his contract. There was a breeze going up places where he would never have thought he would ever feel a breeze. To make things worse, Atsumu had playfully decided that it would be funny if he smacked Kiyoomi’s lacy behind mid-event. If it weren’t for lack of mobility he had in the dress and the fact that Atsumu was strangely good at running in heels, he would’ve slapped the blonde off the setter with his cardboard cutout.

Needless to say, after what he dubs now as _dressgate_ , Kiyoomi has been a bit more wary when the words ‘press’ and ‘obligations’ are mentioned in his vicinity.

Because with all due respect, fuck press obligations.

(“Why would they get volleyball players to sing? Halloween caroling isn’t even a thing.” Kiyoomi gripes as they all walk back to the dorms.

Hinata shrugs. “For the views?”)

🎃🎃🎃

A little over a week later, Kiyoomi is buttoning up his shirt sleeve when he hears a knock at his door.

"Trick or Treat!" Bokuto greets him cheerfully.

“Here,” Kiyoomi indulges, tossing him a couple of protein bars from a bowl in the kitchen. “Treat.”

Bokuto catches them deftly, grinning before taking a closer look at his friend. “So what are you?” Bokuto asks curiously as Kiyoomi grabs his cloak.

“I’m- “ Kiyoomi begins before he stops, taking in Bokuto for the first time. He peers at Bokuto with an expression that could be best described as a mixture of confusion and judgement. “What are _you_?”

“My favourite artist.”

Kiyoomi frowns. “Your favourite artist,” he chews his words out slowly, “is Raphael, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?”

Bokuto beams, jumping up excitedly. His shell rattles hollowly along with him. “Yep! Isn’t he great?”

"Fantastic." Kiyoomi replies flatly as he pulls the door shut, slinging his cloak over his shoulder. Maybe he shouldn’t have worked so hard on his costume.“C'mon, let’s go find the others.”

🎃🎃🎃

They find Hinata stuck in the doorframe to the press room, dressed as a monstrous sized Molten volleyball.

“Hey,” Hinata greets them with a weak wave. “I think I’m stuck.”

“Cowabummer.” Bokuto sympathizes.

Hinata just looks at him. “Sakusa-san, there is a weird giant turtle talking to me.” He whispers.

“The weird giant turtle is Bokuto-kun.” Kiyoomi stage whispers back.

Realization dawns on his face. “Bokuto-san!”

A voice pipes up from inside the press room.. “Shouyou-kun, is that Bokkun and OmiOmi?”

“No,” Kiyoomi denies automatically, flinching at the nickname, the same time Bokuto belts out a cheerful “Tsumtsum!”

“Yes, Bokkun,” Atsumu sounds a bit impatient. “Can you help me push Shouyou through the door?”

Next to him, Bokuto nods, adjusting his shell with determination. “I got this,” he says, holding up a hand and puffing up his chest with the confidence of a true Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (™).

Kiyoomi is pretty sure that whatever Bokuto had, it was definitely not this.

Stepping back, the wing spiker does a couple of warm up lunges and mock spikes. If he squints hard enough, Kiyoomi can almost make out the Rocky theme song playing in the distance as Bokuto goes through what looks like a whole protagonist training montage in 5 short seconds. Then, with a loud cry, he charges at the Hinata shaped volleyball, shell and all. “BOKUTO BEAM!”

There’s a small ‘pop!’ as the tangerine gremlin frees himself from the door, tumbling into the press room easily. Bokuto beams proudly.

“Nice Kill!” Atsumu calls from inside.

Kiyoomi looks at his pocket watch. It isn’t even noon yet. It was going to be one of those days, he thinks as he follows Bokuto into the press room.

🎃🎃🎃

If Kiyoomi thought Bokuto and Hinata looked funny, the world did not prepare him for how Miya Atsumu was dressed.

“Before ya say anything Omi-kun, I just wanted to say that I was going to be a kitsune but my brother and our _troll_ of a best friend decided it would be funny to switch out my costume.” The expression on Atsumu’s face is one of revenge and the beginnings of some villain’s traumatic origin story.

Kiyoomi ignores him, opting to settle into his seat instead. “I didn’t ask. ”

From his seat, Bokuto bellows with laughter, hand slapping his knee guards. “Myaasam and Sunarin sure are funny!”

“Atsumu-san! I think you look very nice in that costume!!” Hinata chimes in encouragingly.

“Really? Thanks Shouyou-kun!” Atsumu spins around, shimmering tails and all. He’s dressed as K/DA Ahri of League of Legends fame, if K/DA Ahri had a rough night and was currently very hungover. Atsumu’s fox ears were too small for his big head and his lilac tails albeit very shiny looked rather deflated. The only plus to his lowcostcosplay of a costume is that the cheap nylon fabric hugged his body and thighs in ways that were sure to have fans angrily tweet about the second the video is uploaded.

Oh to be horny on main.

(“How is it that Omiomi is the one that didn’t want to be in the video, yet he’s got the best costume out of all of us?” Aliexpress Ahri complains as they are getting mic’ed.

Kiyoomi just smiles at him smugly.)

🎃🎃🎃

It’s a short set because as much as it was meme worthy content to watch pro volleyball players sing terribly, there was really only so much even the most dedicated of fans could take of Atsumu’s tone deaf warbling, thigh candy aside.

Prior to the shoot, they had settled on three songs: Monster Mash, the Ghostbusters theme song and - at Bokuto’s insistence - Santa Claus is coming to Town.

"What?" Bokuto had protested when they started discussing songs during their water break, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town is a spooky song."

Atsumu was skeptical. "How so?"

Bokuto had sighed exasperatedly, gesticulating wildly as if his over exaggerated hand movements would somehow make his point. "' _He sees you when you're sleeping / He knows when you're awake?_ "

There was a brief moment of silence and after a beat, Kiyoomi - who had been taking notes - wordlessly wrote down the song title on their list. Atsumu doesn't even try to argue.

Needless to say, Santa Claus is Coming to Town was quickly axed from their set by Meian and the MSBY PR team. “Let’s save that for Christmas,” the captain had said with a forced smile.

🎃🎃🎃

Shooting the caroling portion of the video goes by without a hitch. Unless you count Hinata accidentally hip checking Atsumu into some stools with his enthusiastic singing, a hitch. Which Kiyoomi doesn’t. It is a blessing in the form of a 172cm tall volleyball.

They’re sitting on stools now, as the PR team asks them questions off camera. Even after countless interviews, it was still something Sakusa struggled with, usually opting to have Atsumu be his makeshift spokesperson. This interview was different. It’s more lighthearted than their usual press interviews about their games and he can tell the others are having fun cracking jokes and roasting each other. Kiyoomi answers the questions easily, even throwing in some well timed quips when Bokuto or Atsumu says something silly.

“So Sakusa-san, I’m sure the fans are all curious at your elaborate costume.” One of the staff begins now, turning to his three friends. “He must have worked very hard on it! Can one of you guess what he’s dressed as today?”

Kiyoomi tugs on the velvet cloak around his shoulders nervously. They probably don’t know who he is, he realizes. There were too many things going on prior to the shoot and he never had a chance to tell them. Maybe he should’ve stuck to pop culture characters like Komori had originally suggested, but by then he already started making this costume and it wasn’t like he was just gonna stop making it halfway…..

He tenses up when he feels Atsumu’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little. Snapping out of his thoughts, he sees his teammates all smiling at him.

We got ya.

Kiyoomi relaxes.

“He’s Edmond Dantes!” Bokuto answers happily.

“From Alexandre Dumas’ novel, The Count of Montecristo,” Atsumu quips.

”It’s a book not an anime!” Hinata finishes.

Kiyoomi blinks, turning to his friends with a look of surprise.

“We knew you’d dress as something obscure so we asked Komori!” Bokuto explains, before turning to whisper to Hinata. “Did I use the word ‘obscure’ right?

Kiyoomi finds his lips curling up into a small smile. On and off court, his teammates always had his back.

“.... onto the final question! I heard you guys would be doing a Halloween fan meet soon! Can you spare us any details?”

“Yeah, we will be hosting a small fan meet at Onigiri Miya’s in Osaka! All four of us will be there, in costumes!”

“Matching costumes,” Kiyoomi finds himself saying to the camera.

🎃🎃🎃

“The 27 dislikes are from Hoshiumi and Kageyama and their 25 burner accounts,” Hinata reads outloud when the video finally gets posted.

Atsumu peeks over his shoulder. “Hey, click on ‘MSBY’s Atsumu dances to K/DA’s POP/STARS’ again”

Hinata shrugs him off. “Atsumu-san, we’ve watched that ten times already.”

The setter pouts, opting to go bug Bokuto instead. “Bokkun, let’s watch me dance.”

“Tsumtsum, do you think we can all go as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the Halloween event?” Bokuto asks distractedly.

“No way! We have enough people to be the full K/DA and we can all do the dance!”

“I am not doing the dance,” Kiyoomi says immediately.

“How about volleyballs?” Hinata pipes up.

Atsumu shakes his head. “No volleyballs, we will all knock things over and ‘Samu will flatten me.”

Bokuto laughs. “Myaasam wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

“Have you seen him lift rice bags, Bokkun? That bastard can still spike a bitch if he needs to.”

“Why don’t we go as The Ghostbusters?” Kiyoomi suggests. “Since we did sing the theme song in our video…”

“Yeah, sure!”

“Ghostbusters!”

“Sakusa-san, you are the smartest!”

It’ll be fun, he thinks as the other three start chattering excitedly, doing this fan meet with them will be a lot of fun. Maybe press obligations with them weren’t so bad after all.

(“Is it too late to return the Powerpuff Girls and Professor Utonium costumes?” Hinata whispers to Atsumu.)

**Author's Note:**

> i wish i could write more about sakusa's costume but alas google has failed me hard. i only got pics of the anime or just men with mustaches. ty to dannis for reading this over and the sunaosa discord for talking to me about sakusa's costume (ion i hope u see the dance ref i managed to slip in). [dressgate](https://twitter.com/palaboras/status/1290628327368138752?s=21) is canon and the ghostbusters thing inspired by [this art](https://twitter.com/ponz_no_sekai/status/1318753141534322689?s=21)
> 
> anyways come chat with me about k/da atsumu on twitter [@hanoorins](https://twitter.com/hanoorins)


End file.
